The Retainer Gods Are Out to Get Us

Last Spring Dallin got his braces off and got a retainer (#1).  For some time, he did an excellent job of keeping track of it and wearing it all the time.  In June he went to Scout Camp.  I was worried about him keeping track of the retainer, and even considered having him leave it at home.  In the end, he took it with him.  The last day of camp, he left it on his lunch tray, and it disappeared with the garbage at Camp. 

A replacement retainer costs $95, and we told Dallin that we would pay for the first replacement, but that after that he would need to take the responsibility for losing it, and pay for it himself.  We got another retainer (#2).  Several months went by, and Dallin did an excellent job of keeping track of that retainer, keeping the case in his pocket constantly.  Thanksgiving came and we spent the holiday in Wisconsin with my brother and his family.  Dallin woke in the night, sick to his stomach.  He wears his retainer while he sleeps.  In the abruptness of waking up and needing to puke, he didn't think to pull out his retainer before bending over the toilet, and letting loose (who would?).  That's right, the retainer entered my brother's septic system.  We weren't going after it. 

I just couldn't make Dallin pay for that retainer.  It didn't seem right.  So, we purchased a new retainer (#3).  Christmas came, and we made a trip to Indiana to visit more family.  On the way, we stopped at a drive thru for some lunch.  That was the last time Dallin remembered having his retainer.  Upon returning home to Illinois, we called back to my sister's house, where we had thrown away our McDonald's trash.  They were so gracious and DUG THROUGH THEIR TRASH, looking for the retainer, to no avail.  The retainer was never found.  One month after purchasing #3, we purchased a new retainer (#4).  This time, Dallin paid for it.  He had taken care of a neighbor's dog over the holiday, and all the money he made went toward a new retainer.  A tough life lesson to learn for a 15 year old.

Last night, Rick decided to build a fire in the fireplace for us to gather around for Family Home Evening.  We had a lesson on the Articles of Faith, had a brief visit from our Home Teacher, and had a little treat of some chocolates we had received for Christmas.  As everyone was going off to bed, I noticed Dallin searching for something.  I asked, and he reluctantly admitted that he was looking for his retainer.  He said he had had it in his pocket while he was curled up in a blanket by the fire during FHE.  He had looked all around the floor by the fire.  As we continued to look, I asked if it had been in it's case.  He admitted that the case was down in his room, he had not wanted to go down and get it, and so he had wrapped it in a paper towel instead.  We kept looking.  Rick asked what we were doing.  As we told him the situation, a look of horror crossed his face.  Our hearts all sank to the ground as he said, "I picked up what I thought was a dirty Kleenex that was wadded up in that green blanket and tossed it into the fire."

What are the chances?  What are the odds that the same day we build a fire in the fireplace is the same day that Dallin leaves the retainer case downstairs and wraps the retainer in a paper towel and the same day Rick happens to pick it up and throw it in the fire?  I'm telling you, the retainer gods are out to get us.