Wings

I nudge my fledgling from the nest
He eagerly takes flight.
Off on his own
Spreading his wings
The freedom feels so right.

Not just for him
But also me does freedom taste so sweet.
No longer will my time be spent
On food for him to eat.

I'll find my own
And fly and sing
Without another's cares
Weighing down, trapping me 
In the pull of parental snares.

But as I revel in my joy
This freedom gladly brings
I feel a weight deep in my heart.
And worry enters in.

Does he know how
To spread his wings
And soar above the clouds?
Is he prepared to leave the nest?
My head swims with these doubts.

What will I do anyway
With these new wings of mine?
I've known no other task but this
His identity is mine.

Confusion swirls and fogs my view
How is he flying now?
Perhaps he needs me.
Should I go?
And force him back somehow?

Then I recall the feel of flight
That rush of aptitude
That came from spreading out my wings
And trying what was new.

How can I deny him this?
The joy that comes from growth
I know that I must let him go
But still, I worry so.

My mind goes back
To ages past
When children had to leave
To learn and grow, away from home
And fly on their own wings.

And I feel settled once again
Watching my fledgling fly.
It's hard to watch him struggle now
But now I understand why.

If I had kept him in the nest,
What could he have become?
Nothing more than what he was
A fledgling.  Halted.  Stopped.

But he is more than a little bird
Far more than what is seen
For deep within him yearning to soar
Is the eagle he's meant to be.


Several months ago, when Dallin first got his driver's license, I started writing this poem.  It isn't just about Dallin and his driver's license, but that was the catalyst for me to try to put into words some of the thoughts that I have had about parenting in the last year or so.  As winter came, and once again I found myself faced with concerns of a new driver, I started to think again about the challenge parenthood brings in finding the balance between keeping our children safe, and pushing them to "new heights".  I remembered this poem and that I had not finished it.  This morning, I put some finishing touches on it, and have decided to share it with you. 

Tell me what you think.  About the poem.  About the topic.  About whatever you'd like.

Wanna Help With Me?

I've been following the blog Craft Hope for a little while, and haven't contributed anything to it yet.  Craft Hope is a love inspired project designed to share handmade crafts with those who need them.  I love the idea of crafting with a purpose.  When I saw that this was her latest project, I knew I was in.  I'm not sure how many hats and/or bags I'll get done, but I plan to have Dailie, Audri and Eliza join in too.  Any of you want to join me too?  Here's a link to the post explaining the project:
project 16 :: the littlest warriors

I've got a few personal reasons to be interested in this.  When I was 4 years old, a dear friend of mine, who was also 4, died of leukemia.  The memories of that experience, worrying about her in the hospital, learning she was not better but was coming home from the hospital, and attending her funeral, have always been vivd in my mind.  I was young, and I knew Heidi only a short time, but I have been amazed at the influence she has had on my life. 

Fast forward nearly 30 years, and many of you know the story of how I and my family lost another one, so dear to us, to cancer.  Kevin may have been a little bigger warrior than Heidi was, but both have left me with a desire to help those who battle this awful disease. 

And so, I plan to find a little time to sew a fleece hat or two, or sew a few tote bags.  Leave a comment and let me know if you might join with me!!

Looking ahead at 2012

This weekend we did a couple things to get things rolling for 2012.  A couple of things that have me nervous, excited and feeling challenged.  First, Rick, Dallin and I registered for a sprint triathlon in early June.  We will swim 600 yards in open water, bike 13 miles and run a 5k.  The part of me that loves to feel challenged is so excited.  The competitive part of me hates to think of finishing behind so many people.  But, I must remember the challenge is only with myself.  So, I continue heading to the gym in this nasty weather, and look forward to when I can run and bike outside again.

The second thing we did was buy three plane tickets to PARIS!!!!  Rick, Dallin and I will be going to Paris over Spring Break.  I'm so excited!!  My first time over the ocean!  Some time ago, Rick and I decided that when our kids turned 16, we wanted to take them on an international trip.  Dallin's was postponed a little, but we're finally doing it.  He's taking AP French this year, his 7th year, and has really enjoyed learning about world history as well.  So, Paris was his choice.  The next challenge will be choosing which of the MANY things we will see while we are there.  We'll let Dallin decide, for the most part, but when he said he had no desire to see the Eiffel Tower, I said, "Sorry.  I'm not going to Paris and NOT seeing the Eiffel Tower."  I can't wait for the adventure!!

Christmas Tree

Due to the enormous response from my inquiry in my last post, I've decided to share some more.  Does 6 comments count as enormous response?  Actually is doesn't even matter.  You're all people I'd like to stay in touch with, so I'll give this another go.  I thought I'd share a little of our Christmas with you, so I thought I'd show you our tree.

Isn't it a lovely tree?  Ok, so it WAS a lovely tree.  This is what it looked like last Saturday, when we decided to finally take it down.  I really wanted to burn it in our fireplace.  That's always how we disposed of our Christmas tree when I was a kid, and it seemed like a fun idea.  Also, we had neglected watering our tree so much that is was EXTREMELY dry.  Trying to move that tree out of the house would have resulted in needles EVERYWHERE!!  So, Rick decided just to cut it up right in the house.  It was a fun family event, and it made a blazing fire, but the tree was SO dry that the fire didn't last long at all.  It was fun anyway.

I didn't get a Christmas card out this year.  I wish I had, but I didn't.  So, in it's place, please enjoy this photo of the kids on Christmas morning.  Santa brought them all a new outfit to wear to Church that morning.  This one turned out really well, except that Dailie is sticking out her tongue.  Just pretend she's smiling. 

Merry Christmas, Everyone!!

A Really Dry Spell

Here's the thing.  I really like to blog, but it seems like I'm not finding the time to do it anymore.  Should I keep it up?  Does anyone care?  I realize this could be taken as a plea for comments, and I guess it kind of is.  I just wonder, does anyone out there miss posts from Cougar Blue Jeffs?  Should I try to get back into it?  I have missed it, although I don't think my schedule has, if you know what I mean.

This is the kind of thing you've been missing out on: